Scatter In The Brain!

It has been a long, fun filled day of anxiety and stress. The weather is in tune. It’s been gray, muggy and trying to rain all day. It finally succeeded about an hour or so ago. My mind is scattered, but the knot in my chest has been kind enough to start loosening in an attempt to unravel itself. That would be nice. Anyone who’s ever had anxiety knows that it is a horrible feeling.

It pulls and tightens making it seem like you can’t breathe, but in reality you actually can. However if you don’t concentrate on the fact that you can you sometimes forget and begin to hyperventilate. Then comes the numbing off the face and locking up of the hands. It’s not so much fun. I concentrated. Ergo I could breathe, though sometimes it seemed difficult.

Playing with the dogs helped. They’re good distractions. Of course a lot of people don’t know why they had the anxiety to begin with. I did, though I’m not at liberty to say. It all worked out though so my body is finally starting to relax. YAY!

Onward and upward. Due to the anxiety my writing skills today were less than…well less. Thoughts going off in thirty thousand different directions, worried feelings, anger, confusion, not knowing what was going on, it all contributed and most of my focus was on remembering I could breathe. I have to say it worked.

Still, now things are somewhat settled and my body and mind are coming together in sync. This means I’m going to try writing again. I’m stuck on chapter three because I realized after I wrote the initial that I completely forgot to write something important in the chapter. If I didn’t add it now it would cause problems later on. Of course having to add it in meant changing the dynamics of the entire chapter, but that’s okay. The characters seem to be cooperating, which is always a plus, and I’m liking that the plot line is actually on course. (Well it is when I remember to add the necessary parts of the story!)

So I’ve got a few hours before I have to raid tonight on WOW. We finished up TOTC and to be honest I’m not sure what we’re planning on raiding tonight. We’ll probably do the weekly and then I have no idea. We’re not ready for ICC yet. Definitely need higher gear scores for that. Oh plus more practice healing for me. I’m still not quite used to it. Shadow Priests ROCK!

On that note I’m going to head out. Time to get to work and stop stalling! Sorry for the scattered nature of this post. While it may seem a bit odd to you, it was necessary for me.


1 Comment »

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